Disguised Reality
by Sophia Dreith
Summary: Poe had all but given up any hope of being with Finn. Even after she'd left, the ex-trooper had never forgotten his first love. And Poe had accepted that. If friendship was all he was able to have, then that is what he'd take. But then Rey had gotten that new boyfriend of hers. And as if a switch has been flicked, Finn was suddenly looking at Poe.
1. Chapter 1

This fic is a side story to a much longer series and won't make much sense unless you've read the other parts, most notably Creatures behind Masks and Beneath the Façade. They can both be found on my Author Profile page.

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Poe looked up at the panting man above him. _Stars, Finn was perfect._ The ex-stormtrooper was everything he'd ever wanted and he couldn't help reaching up and splaying his fingers over the other man's chest, if only to have even just a little more contact.

Finn smiled down at him. "That was pretty awesome . . . "

Poe couldn't resist wiggling his brows in a leering manner. "I told you it would be."

At this Finn leaned down and the two kissed. It was sloppy and passionate and perfect. Poe felt his eyes slide closed and he still couldn't believe this was actually happening. After they'd left Rey with her new beau, it was like Finn had finally let go of that crush of his.

Poe had been eyeing the other man for the better part of six months and they'd been inseparable. But the pilot had all but given up hope of garnering Finn's romantic interest. That all changed when it became clear the Rey just didn't share the ex-trooper's feelings and that she'd landed that guy, Kai.

Poe tried not to dwell on the idea that he might be the rebound and instead focused on making sure Finn was happier than he'd have ever been with Rey. Poe liked Rey but it had been obvious the few time he'd seen her with Finn that she just didn't see the other man that way. He'd honestly wondered if she saw anyone that way because she'd never looked at anyone twice while on the base. No one seemed to appeal to her.

Until Kai. The guy who took the garnish out of her drink and who looked at her like she was the most precious thing in the galaxy. And she smiled at him like he completed her. They made a cute couple with the way they bickered even if Kai was a bit offputting at first. Finn had acted a bit weird for a few days after they'd returned. Poe had chalked it up to him getting over his crushing heartbreak.

Which was why Poe had almost choked when Finn walked into his little ship that he lived in and had just asked him flat out, "So . . . I've been thinking about this for a while . . . and I um—well I think we might have a connection . . . or something?"

Poe had blinked for a few seconds and his jaw dropped. "Yeah—yes! _Yes_. We have a connection. _We do_."

Finn had smiled crookedly. "I've never . . . really . . . with anyone. I thought I was only supposed to like women. The First Order, they . . . "

Poe really didn't want to know the bullshit the First Order was practicing. "That's all in the past. They don't control you anymore. What do you want now?"

Finn had bitten his plush bottom lip and Poe had been unable to keep his eyes off the movement.

He seemed uncertain but his voice didn't shake. "I think I might want . . . you?"

Poe had been hoping and praying to the Force to hear those words for months. But it had still felt like a punch in the chest and he had trouble taking a breath.

The pilot stepped closer because he knew his voice would be soft. "I think I might want you too."

Finn blushed and looked away until Poe reached over and put his hand on the other man's cheek. Poe had swallowed past the lump in his throat and couldn't help but ask, "Can I kiss you?"

The ex-stormtrooper looked up at him quickly, his eyes wide. "Yeah."

Poe leaned in and kissed Finn, and it was everything he expected and more. It was fairly obvious that Finn hadn't had a lot of practice but that only made increased Poe's desire. The kiss deepened and Finn's hand came up to clutch at the orange jumpsuit a he leaned further in. Poe finally had to pull away and he panted slightly.

Finn's eyes were still shut and his tone was a bit wobbly. "Was that okay?"

Poe tried not to dwell on how breathless the ex-trooper sounded and what it would take to have him sounding like that again.

"It was more than okay."

Finn looked at him then and Poe was struck dumb as usual by the other man and this connection they had. He couldn't help leaning in and kissing his 'trooper again.

Poe smiled at the memory. _Was that only a week ago?_ He was shaken from his thoughts as Finn kissed his neck and bit his ear. His eyes shuttered closed at the sound and feeling of Finn's breath in his ear. There wasn't much room for either of them to go with just the single bunk but Poe found he didn't really mind having Finn on top of him even if the other man was solidly built.

 _Still . . ._ "Bud, I gotta get up."

The voice was muffled against his skin. "Why?"

Poe snorted. "I'm sure you're alright with what's going on downstairs but I'm a little . . . damp at the moment and I got a meeting in twenty minutes."

Finn pulled away and looked at him. He thought for a second before saying, "That's plenty of time for you to be on top and we can be damp together."

Poe smiled indulgently. "Babe, I'm not a young stud like you. I got a refractory period."

Finn laughed and rolled off Poe as much as he was able, and the pilot slipped out of the small bed. Finn got up as well and they walked down the hall to the 'fresher. Poe went in and closed his eyes as the lasers and steam wicked anything foreign from his body.

He stepped out and Finn went in while Poe quickly shaved. Finn didn't need to do that as apparently there was some stormtrooper mandate about having all the follicles removed over the entire body except for the scalp and eyebrows. Finn said it was to prevent minor issues that arose when one wore that much body armor that long, but Poe thought it was just one more way the First Order tried to strip individuality from its 'troopers.

He was done with his scruff by the time Finn exited the 'fresher. Poe looked over the other man and he couldn't help licking his lips. "Babe, when we have a couple days off, I'm gonna take you back to my homeworld and you and me are gonna use one of the private bathhouses."

Finn's head tilted in confusion. "What's a bathhouse?"

Oh the things Poe could tell him. "It's where people go to bath in water."

The ex-trooper blinked. "Water? You wash yourself with _water_? That seems wasteful."

Poe laughed as he stepped out of the bathroom. "I promise you it's worth it. I got a full bathhouse at my home there. You'll be changing your tune when we're up against a wall and you're pounding into me while hot water cascades down on us."

Finn blinked again and seemed to roll the idea around in his mind. "That sounds . . . "

"Hot. You'll love it."

Finn smiled and Poe pulled him closer. He couldn't remember being this happy at any point in his life, which of course meant he had to cut this short.

He kissed Finn and then said, "Bud, I gotta go meet with the general."

"Really?"

"Yeah, she's expecting me in," he checked the comm, "fifteen minutes. And don't give me that look. You know I'd rather spend the day in bed with you."

Finn shrugged and laid back on the bunk, his legs splayed in a sexy manner and Poe could see _everything_. "Your loss."

Poe slumped as he got dressed. He bit his lip as he looked over Finn's fit body sprawled over the bunk. He pulled his suit back on completely and laced up his boots before leaning in for one more long, deep kiss.

He groaned as he pulled away and his voice was almost hoarse. "Don't move from this spot. I'll be back in forty-five minutes tops and when I get back, you and that mattress are going to get quite intimate when I pound you into it."

Finn smiled and leaned up for another kiss, his teeth catching on Poe's lip when he pulled away a second later. "I'll hold you to that."

Poe shuddered only slightly as he turned from Finn and made his way out of the ship. He shut the door behind him and came down the steps. The pilot looked at his small craft for a second before leaving it behind. He couldn't help but wonder if it would fit two comfortably on a regular basis. Finn had practically lived with him the last three days anyway.

Poe shrugged to himself. Three days was plenty of time for a trial period and Finn seemed to like being there. He smiled at the thought of replacing the single bunk with a double, of getting to wake up with Finn every morning.

"If those hearts in your eyes get any bigger, you won't be able to see."

Poe jumped only a bit as Lieutenant Connix slid in front of him.

She smirked. "Haven't seen you around the base much, pilot. Something keeping you home?"

 _Oh, only hours of mind-blowing sex unlike anything I've ever experienced . . ._ "No, nothing too different."

She rolled her eyes and put her hands on her hips. "You are a Force-damned liar."

Poe shrugged and smiled crookedly. "Uh, that noticeable, huh?"

She pursed her lips and smiled up at him. "Well, that and you're walking a bit funny."

That brought him up short his eyes widened. He felt fine but Finn wasn't exactly a lightweight in any sense of the word. And he needed to stop thinking about Finn's . . . assets.

She laughed at the look on his face before pointing ahead. "The general is in her office."

Poe sighed. "Ah, thanks."

She rolled her eyes and walked off. The sooner he got this meeting done, the sooner he could return to a warm bunk and warmer bunk-mate. He couldn't help the dopey smile on his face as he glided down the hall and knocked on the door to General Organa's office. After only a second, the door slid open and he walked inside.

The general sat behind her desk and she looked up and smiled before gesturing to the chair across from her. "Poe, please come in and have a seat."

The pilot nodded and sat down. He heard the door hiss shut behind him and the click of a lock. He gave her a questioning look.

The general steepled her hands on the desk and her face was deceptively pleasant. "Please don't be concerned. I simply don't want anyone to disturb us."

He leaned back a bit in the chair. "I didn't say anything."

Her head tilted but she didn't lose the calm facade. "You didn't have to."

Poe's brows knitted but he said nothing in response and instead he waited for the general to tell him why she'd called him. It had to be important for her to send him the communique this morning on his day off.

She brought her hands down and crossed them in front of her as she leaned forward. "I noticed you and Finn have gotten rather . . . close recently."

His eyes widened. _Oh stars, please tell me my commanding officer isn't asking me about my sex life . . ._ That was not the type of conversation he wanted to have with the general.

She chuckled a bit. "I don't want details. I just wanted to know when this . . . change occurred."

Poe's mouth opened a couple of times as he thought his answer over. "Uh . . . well, after we visited Rey. She's got herself a man and I guess Finn finally gave up on her and . . . " He trailed off, hoping he didn't sound as desperate as he felt.

But she nodded and said, "Gave you a chance."

The pilot looked away briefly. "Yeah . . . "

General Organa pursed her lips for a second before pulling a pad out from her desk and setting it on the table. "The man she was with . . . Is this him?"

She slid the pad in front of him with an image he recognized. "Yeah. That's Kai."

It was obviously a photo taken without the other man's knowledge. Was the general spying on Rey? Why would she do that?

She nodded and put the pad away. "I'm afraid I'm about to ask you to do something that might make you uncomfortable."

Poe blinked. "What kind of thing?"

She sighed. "As you know, I don't really advertise my . . . skills but the Force has always been strong in my family. It's why Ben turned to the darkside. I can use a lightsaber but I usually tend to stick more with skills of the mind."

Poe had been with her for many years. After his mother had died, his father had taught him to fly. So at fifteen he'd run off to find adventure among the stars. He'd bounced around different jobs but nothing called to him until Leia had found him. She'd smiled and said he reminded her of her lost son. A boy who had died in the jedi massacre.

She'd recruited him and taken him under her wing. He'd learned to fly an x-wing and became the general's favorite pilot. She took him with her around the galaxy as an attache and he'd stuck by her through everything, done everything she'd ever asked of Poe was well aware of the general's connection with the Force. And with her above average rate of information extraction from prisoners. He winced, thinking back on his own brush with such techniques. It was probably one of the most painful moments of his life.

Leia nodded. "I know this is hard for you but I need you to grant me access to your mind."

The pilot automatically began shaking his head in denial even as he asked, "Why?"

The general got up and came around the desk to stand in front of him. She took one of his hands and rubbed his fingers with her own in a soothing manner. "Because I suspect your memories have been tampered with. Yours and Finn's. There was something slightly off after you returned from Takodana and when you and Finn started seeing each other romantically . . . "

He didn't jerk his hand from hers but it was a close thing. "Are you saying that Finn's feelings for me . . . They might not be real?" It was a thought that was too painful to contemplate.

She licked her dry lips. "I don't know. It may be connected or it might not be."

Poe's brow furrowed. "I—I don't know."

He didn't _want_ to know.

The general's other hand came up to his face. Her fingers almost caressed his cheek as she pushed his chin up until their eyes made contact. "I need you to do this. This is bigger than your relationship. This could be everything to the Resistance."

His mind was filled with images and thoughts about what might happen if he was somehow withholding important information. He nodded in acquiescence.

She smiled benevolently and her fingers came up to trace his temples. His eyes slid shut. The general was gentle and there was no pain as she sifted through his memories searching for the time and place she needed. He did his best to assist her. Pain or no pain, he didn't want to do this any longer than he had to.

He knew the moment she'd found the memory. Saw Finn, Rey, and Kai sitting around the table talking and laughing like they'd been friends forever. Kai rarely took his eyes off Rey and he seemed good for her, if a bit stand-offish towards others. He'd not been terribly happy to potentially work for the Resistance but then he didn't want to put Rey in danger. He'd said so.

Poe and Finn eventually leave and the pair had waved at them as their ship left the landing pad outside the bar. And that was that.

Except it wasn't.

Leia was rewinding the memories, pulling them apart and he could only watch as everything unraveled. Seeing things that hadn't been there before. His stomach twisted into knots. _No. No. No . . ._

He and Finn left the bar and the ex-trooper pulled him to the side. "Poe, you still got your blaster?"

The pilot's eyes widened in question. "Yeah, why?"

Finn leaned in closer and Poe could smell his scent of lopte butter and alcohol. "That guy back there. I think that's Kylo Ren."

Poe reeled back in shock. "What?!" Kylo Ren was the demon of the First Order and Poe still had nightmares of the pain the man had put him through. "How do you know? I thought you didn't get a good look at him before."

Finn looked away. "I didn't but he's similar enough. Even so, man . . . The guy's name is Kai Lowen."

Poe's mouth slackened as he took that in before shaking his head. "That's not proof. We can't just blast the guy on that alone. It could be an unfortunate coincidence."

Finn gritted his teeth. "Well, we can't just leave Rey alone with him. If it _is_ him. And if the Resistance comes here to confront him, he might kill her."

Poe wasn't sure what to think but they apparently they were out of time because the man himself was walking by, headed for his ship. _What if he escaped?_ What if they had to go back to Resistance and tell them they'd had Kylo Ren and had let the man escape. Finn made the decision for them as he reached over and grabbed the blaster before taking off after Kai.

Poe's eyes widened, "Shit . . . "

The pilot went after his friend and could only watch as Finn grabbed Kai and held the blaster up under his chin. Well, that was one way to get answers, he supposed.

Except he hadn't expected Kai to actually confess to his identity.

He smiled smugly at them. "What gave me away?"

Finn leaned in and his voice was heavy with anger. "I thought I recognized you but when I heard your name . . . _Kai Lowen_? That's not even being subtle."

Kylo Ren's face pulled into an obscene smile. "Subtle enough for _her_."

Finn's face twitched and Poe's hand cocked back intending to punch the jackass across the face. But suddenly his feet weren't under him anymore and Poe hit the ground hard. He tried to get back up but Ren was holding him down with the Force. Another wave slammed down on to him, crushing his body into the duracrete of the pad. Poe looked over and Finn appeared dazed and but he was still conscious.

Kylo Ren's voice was positively smug. "That was a very stupid thing you just did. I'm not sure what you thought was going to happen here, boys."

Poe wasn't able to respond but Finn's voice was gravely as he spoke through clenched teeth. "Why are you hanging around Rey? What do you want with her?"

Ren crouched down in front of Finn while his voice was low, Poe could still make out the words. "Everything. She's mine. Since that day she resisted me, she has never left my sight."

The ex-stormtrooper shook his head as much as he was able. "She couldn't go and train with Luke Skywalker because you did something to her."

Ren's head tilted. "Nothing so terrible as what you're thinking. Skywalker is an unworthy teacher but I've made her better. Her power has increased a hundredfold since Star Killer Base. Even if she doesn't know it, yet." Kylo pursed his lips. "But none of that matters. Did you contact the Resistance before confronting me?"

Poe watched as Finn's terrified eyes met Kylo's and he started choking in pain. Poe knew that look, knew that pain. He'd been on the receiving end of it. Watching his best friend being violated like that . . . The pain making his body writhe on the ground like a worm caught in the sun and not be able to do anything about it was something Poe knew would stay with him for the rest of his life.

They hadn't contacted the Resistance and Poe would have told him that to spare Finn the pain of Ren's mind invasions. And apparently the knight figured that out as well because he said, "Normally, I would call you both the dumbest people I've ever met. But your idiocy has just saved your lives. If you had spoken to the Resistance, I would have killed you both. But since you haven't told anyone, you get to live. After, of course, we remove certain things from your mind."

Poe's eyes widened and he gasped as Kylo raised his hand to Finn's head again. Finn stopped moving and Poe felt tears well up in his eyes as he watched his friend's mind get wiped away.

The pilot strained even harder and eventually he wasn able to gasp out, "Stop . . . "

Kylo looked up surprised as he turned his head towards Poe. As if he'd forgotten the pilot was even there. Poe's head shook as he felt the invasion into his thoughts. _Please don't hurt Finn anymore!_

Ren's chin lifted and he looked curious. "Ah . . . "

The knight glanced down at Finn, whose eyes were glazed over before looking back up at Poe. The pilot knew he wasn't going to like whatever was brewing in that evil mind.

But Ren smiled in a manner that reminded Poe far too much of Han Solo. "You're in luck. I'm about to do you a favor. You can thank me later."

 _What?_ Poe's brow knitted together in confusion and he shook his head but Kylo ignored him as he turned back to the ex-trooper and slipped back into the mind of Finn. The smile never wavered as he found whatever it was he sought. Finn finally passed out when Ren released his hold. Poe eyed his friend and breathed a sigh of relief to see he was still breathing. But his moment of reprieve ended when Kylo Ren turned back towards him.

Kylo crouched down beside him, blocking his view of his friend. "What did you do to Finn?"

The knight raised a brow. "Made your life a bit easier, I think. There won't be any more lingering feelings towards my scavenger. He's all yours now."

 _That's not what he wanted. Not fake feelings._ "That's not what I—"

Ren didn't seem at all sympathetic. "You can lie to yourself but you won't lie to me. You should have learned that before . . . I don't tolerate it."

He raised his hand to Poe's face and pushed his way inside.

Poe opened his mouth to yell as the familiar pain blossomed but Leia pulled away just in time. She looked anywhere but at him and his eyes darted around the room as he attempted to process what hat happened.

"Finn . . . "

Everything was a _lie._ Finn had been _brainwashed_.

Leia shook her head. "Kylo Ren didn't put those feelings there, Poe. He just got rid of the lingering crush on Rey."

But Poe already felt moisture gathering in his eyes. "I have to tell him." It would break his heart like it was already breaking Poe's.

But Leia put her hand on his shoulder and her voice was firm. "No, you don't. You'll be hurting not just yourself but him too. How do you think he'll react knowing that Kylo Ren is running around with Rey?"

He remembered Finn running off after the man with a blaster and while he understood her point, it still wasn't fair to Finn to keep something so important from him.

Leia tilted his head up so their eyes met. "We'll handle Kylo Ren, Poe. Don't worry."

She would handle it like she always had but . . . "And Rey, what about her?"

The general's voice was soothingly pleasant. "We'll do our best to help her."

Poe blinked. "What does that mean?"

Leia smiled comfortingly. "It means exactly what it sounds like. We don't know how much of Ren's influence has penetrated her mind. You heard him, she's never left his sight."

Poe shook off his doubts. "I also heard that he kept us alive so he can maintain his ruse. If she were completely under his power, he wouldn't be pretending to be someone else. Which means we can still save her. Let me take a team down that to extract her once they finish with the mission."

But the general was shaking her head and stepping back from him. "No. I want to know what his plans are. Why he's taking so much time with her."

Poe couldn't stop the incredulous look on his face. "He's trying to turn her evil."

She waved him off with a scoff. "Kylo Ren has far more important things to do with his time than abscond with a girl for months on the auspices of 'turning her evil'. No, he's got other plans."

The pilot's eyes narrowed and his head tilted. "Exactly how long have you known about him being with her?"

She didn't even pretend to not understand. "For the last four months."

Poe's jaw dropped. "Four months, you've known about this? How can you just have left her there like that?"

Leia's chin lifted. "Being the leader of a crippled military under a faltering government means making hard choices and allocating resources to be used in the most efficient manner."

He shook his head. "That's a bunch of political talk."

She met his eyes again. "We will take care of it, Poe."

Poe knew a dismissal when he heard one and his lips tightened as he got up and left the room without another word. As he walked down the hall and out of the building, Poe felt like he was in a daze. The full ramifications of what had happened was hitting him. Was any of it real? Was it all in Poe's own head? Did Kylo Ren force these feelings onto Finn? Ren had said that he'd just removed the feelings for Rey. That Finn's feelings for Poe were genuine. But Kylo Ren was a patricidal lunatic so how could he really know if the other man was telling the truth.

His steps slowed as he came to stand outside his ship. Finn was in there, naked and waiting for Poe to come in there and make him see stars. And Poe wanted nothing more than to do that. To forget about the general and Kylo Ren and just be happy with his new lover.

He took a step back and it felt like all the oxygen left his lungs but he turned anyway. He needed air. He needed more time to think.

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	2. Chapter 2

Finn looked over at Poe from across the hangar but as usual the man wasn't looking at him. It wasn't worth it to be hurt anymore, he knew, as he turned away and began walking back to his quarters. He used to think Poe was worth any amount of pain or work. But it had become increasingly clear that Poe hadn't thought the same. It was just so hard now with the man. What were they?

What was Poe to him anymore? His boyfriend? Partner? Lover? Was he any of those anymore when the man wouldn't touch him? Poe still acted friendly with him. Still called him, buddy and clapped him on the shoulder but the emotion behind it had disappeared. Finn couldn't seem to figure out what he'd done wrong. He'd had tried asking Poe about it but the man had just shrugged and switched subjects.

Finn still remembered waiting in Poe's ship for hours before getting dressed and venturing out. He'd headed to his post in the communications bay and asked after Poe. Connix had told him that Poe hadn't been called away, but she'd seen him leaving the general's office a few hours before. She said he hadn't looked happy.

Finn had tracked the man down eventually sitting by himself at the edge of the base looking over the parked ships.

He kept his voice calm. "Poe."

The pilot had looked at him but he hadn't smiled. He'd looked away with a grimace. "What's up, buddy?"

Finn tried to keep the hurt from his voice. "What are you doing over here?"

"I'm um . . . I just—I needed some time to think."

Finn eyed the other man. "What happened with the general?"

"Nothing." Poe's tone said it was anything but. Why would Poe lie about something important enough to upset him so much? Weren't they closer than that?

Finn tried again. "Obviously something happe—"

Poe's voice was sharp. "I said _nothing happened_!" Finn had taken a step back at how angry Poe sounded.

The ex-trooper felt something inside him break. "Poe . . . "

Something in his voice must have gotten through to Poe because the man finally looked at him. "Look I just need some time alone."

"Alone? Are you breaking up with me?"

Poe was silent for a few seconds before saying, "No. I'm not. I just needs some space."

Finn had nodded, his throat tight and his stomach at his feet. "Alright. Just talk to me when you're ready."

Poe had nodded but he didn't say anything else. And he hadn't said much of anything in the weeks since. Whatever had happened in the general's office had warped the pilot and thrown his world off its axis. And Finn had no idea how to help.

The ex-trooper had contemplated asking the general but she seemed to steer clear of him. And it didn't help that she'd also been acting oddly, staying in her office with the door and blinds shut at all hours of the day and night. And Finn could swear he heard her speaking to someone once when he'd walked by but no one was in there except General Organa, he was sure.

And while, she'd kept him at a distance, he could feel her eyes on them during the few times he and Poe were together. Finn was convinced that something had happened in that office. Something neither of them would discuss but had destroyed his relationship with Poe. Everything had been fine until that meeting with the general.

Finn sat in his small room in the barracks. There had been few days with Poe when he'd thought he wouldn't need the room anymore. Before everything went to hell. But he'd slept here every night since that day. He didn't really have any other friends around the base besides the ones who gravitated towards Poe. They all still saw him as a stormtrooper. It didn't matter how many of his former comrades had died because of everything Finn had done. A stormtrooper would always been a stormtrooper, apparently.

And the few that had been friendly towards him had promptly dropped off the map once it had become clear that he and Poe were on the outs. Except maybe Connix . . . he smiled. But she liked everyone. Finn did not allow tears to come to his eyes. He'd cried enough because of these people. It was obviously time to move on. Poe had been the only thing holding him back from leaving before but he didn't even have that anymore. He looked at his tiny duffle that was only half full anyway. He didn't have much, just a couple sets of clothing, but if he could get to a trade planet, he could barter work for transport, maybe to Takodana where he could meet up with Rey.

Finn swallowed as he got up and looked down at the one thing he was leaving behind. The brown jacket was folded neatly on the bunk but he still reached down and ran his fingers over the leather. Finn shook his head and grabbed the bag before leaving, his steps soft in the empty hall. Most everyone was in the mess but Finn was scheduled to go on a transport job so no one looked twice at him as he made his way to the hanger.

He'd do his job and help his co-pilot to load supplies onto the ship but he wouldn't be returning. The transport vessel loomed in front of him and he walked casually towards it. The ship gleamed in the fading sun and Finn looked around at the landing pad. He took a moment to remember the good times he'd had here and his eyes slid to the hanger off to the side. To Poe's ship. Finn mentally shook himself. He and Poe were as good as broken up. His former flame would probably be at dinner with everyone else and wouldn't even miss him . . .

Or he'd be coming down the steps of the cargo ship that Finn was scheduled to leave on.

He swallowed as the pilot came towards him, smiling as if nothing was wrong. "You ready to leave, buddy?"

Finn hesitated and that was apparently enough for Poe to notice that Finn wasn't wearing his jacket . . . Was carrying a bag . . .

Poe had blinked stupidly down at the bag before bringing questioning eyes back up to meet Finn's "What is this? Where is your jacket?" Finn flinched at the tone. Why did he sound so angry?

But he wouldn't let his voice waver. This was for the best. "It's back in my room."

Poe's eyes narrowed and he looked again at the tiny bag. Finn saw the corners of his mouth twitch downwards as if he could not hold back his disbelieving anger at what he was seeing. The pilot let out an angry breath but he said nothing. Finn nearly took a step back when Poe's hand shot out and wrapped tightly around the ex-trooper's wrist and proceeded to bodily drag him back into the barracks towards his room.

Thankfully no one was around to see the spectacle and Poe soon had them back inside Finn's quarters. The ex-trooper swallowed when Poe all but shoved him into the room and slammed the door shut behind them. He stood off to the side and watched as the pilot's eyes zeroed in on the jacket folded on the bed.

Poe turned back and his voice was low. "What the _hell_ do you think you're doing?"

Finn would not let himself be intimidated. "I thought it was fairly obvious. I was planning to leave."

Poe's jaw dropped at his frankness. "What? You weren't going to say anything? You were just going to disappear on me?"

Finn glared at the man. "Don't pretend like you give a damn, Poe. You got what you wanted from me and it's over now. But I can't just be friends with you. Not after everything."

The pilot's brow furrowed in confusion. "I never wanted to be just your friend, Finn. I love you."

But Finn scoffed. "Well you got a funny way of showing it. You won't even touch me anymore and you won't talk to me. What am I supposed to glean from that besides that you're done with me?"

Poe's lips trembled as he stalked forward and pushed Finn into the wall. "I will _never_ be done with you."

Finn's jaw clenched. "Then why don't you want me anymore? You barely look at me, much less talk to me."

The Resistance pilot's eyes slid shut and Finn could see the pain in the creases around his eyes. "I do want you. I want you more than anything, but . . . "

Finn wasn't going to let him get away with not explaining the problem anymore. "But what, Poe? Why are you pushing me away?"

"Because what you feel for me might not be real." Finn reeled back. What was he talking about? Finn had felt these feelings for Poe since he'd seen the other man on the landing pad after Takodana.

He didn't try to keep the confusion from his voice. "What are you talking about? Of course my feelings are real. Just because I was a storm—"

Poe cut him off. "That's not the reason."

"Then _what_ is the reason?"

Poe looked him in the eye. "Kylo Ren messed with your mind."

Finn blinked. "What? What are you talking about?"

Poe grimaced. "Rey's new guy, Kai. The last time we were there, you figured out he was Kylo Ren. We ambushed him but he wiped the floor with us. He erased our memories of the encounter but he also . . . "

The ex-trooper shook his head in confusion. "What? What did he do?"

Poe licked his lips and took a breath. "He uh . . . he got rid of your feelings for Rey. That's why after we got back here, you were more open to a relationship with me."

Finn was silent as he took that all in but the his eyes narrowed. "And you _knew?_ "

Poe instantly shook his head in denial. "Not then! I didn't know then. I found out later."

His jaw tightened as it all came into focus. "The meeting with the general. Somehow she knew and you found out from her."

"Yeah."

Finn brought his hand up and pushed Poe away from him. "That was _weeks_ ago! How could you not tell me? I saw Rey four days ago when I dropped her pay off. I could have warned her!"

Poe allowed the space but he didn't go far. "That's why. The general didn't want to let Kylo Ren know that we know he's there."

His brow furrowed in confusion at how incredibly dumb that sounded. "So we're just leaving Rey with that maniac?"

The pilot shook his head. "The general has a plan, I'm sur—"

Finn's jaw opened and closed as he tried to process what he was hearing. "You're _sure_? You mean you don't know?"

Poe had the sense to look at least slightly sheepish. "General Organa has been tight-lipped about her plans lately."

Finn rolled his eyes at the other man. "Yeah, when she's not talking to herself in her office in the middle of the night."

Poe's head snapped up. "What did you say?"

"I _said,_ 'She's tight-lipped when she's not talking to herself in her office'."

The pilot was eyeing him. "You've heard her talking to herself?"

They were going off-topic and Finn was about to rip into the other man again, but Poe seemed serious about the question. The ex-trooper sighed. "Yeah. I thought maybe she had someone in there with her and I couldn't hear the other person but she came out an hour later alone. No one was in there with her."

Poe was looking him over intently and his words were carefully weighed. "She could have been talking to someone on the comm."

Finn shook his head. "No. I was working the comm station that night. That's why I was there. There was nothing going into her office."

Poe seemed conflicted for some reason. "It could have been anything."

The ex-trooper shrugged. "I suppose so. And anyway, none of that matters anymore."

Finn went to push past the other man. It was obvious that there was nothing left to say. Poe doubted the depth and reality of Finn's feelings for him. He thought that Finn had been manipulated into falling for him. And Poe hadn't talked to him about it. Hadn't had to balls to disobey his general and tell Finn what had happened. He'd just pushed Finn away.

And Poe was pushing him again, but this time, his hand was on Finn's shoulder and he was slamming the ex-trooper back into the wall. Finn's hand came up to remove the arm currently holding him in place and he fairly spat out, "Get your hand off me."

Poe only stepped closer. "We're not done, here. You're not going anywhere."

Finn sneered at the other man. "I'm pretty sure I am. You stepped off so I'm not your problem anymore."

But the pilot didn't let go. If anything, his grip tightened and his voice was almost breathless. "Finn, I'm sorry. I made a mistake. I just didn't want to take advantage of you."

Finn shook his head. It was too late for that kind of excuse. "So you decided to ignore me instead. You decided that your general's orders were more important that our relationship."

Poe seemed to become impatient with him. "She's the _general_. She's been like a second mother to me for over a decade." Finn tried again to push the other man back, but Poe used all his strength to keep him pinned against the wall.

He gritted his teeth. "And that justifies you _lying_ to me? Look, I'm not going to make you pick between us. She carries more weight for you. And I get it. I understand but I'm not gonna compete with that."

Poe shook his head. "You don't need to compete with anyone. I love _you_."

It was the second time he'd said it during the conversation but it was the first time Finn actually believed him. He tried looking away but Poe put his hand on Finn's cheek and turned his face until their eyes met, and he leaned in and kissed the ex-stormtrooper. Finn couldn't help melting into it. It was the first kiss he'd gotten in weeks and it quickly deepened but Poe pulled away before they got too far.

His eyes were beseeching. "Leave your bag. Put your jacket back on. We'll do our supply trip and I'll tell you everything. And we'll figure it all out."

Finn closed his eyes. He loved the other man so much but was he ready to allow him back? To give the other man another chance to break his heart? Poe seemed too earnest and so Finn took a chance and nodded. He needed Poe like air. He'd never felt this way about anyone and he'd give the pilot one more chance. Poe stepped back and plucked the jacket up from the bed and handed it to Finn who took it.

He tried not to fidget as Poe watched him like a hawk while he slid the brown jacket around his shoulders. There was silence but Poe took his hand and they walked out with their fingers entwined.

* * *

For updates on this series as well as my other works, please follow me on tumblr at sophiascribbling. For those not following me on tumblr, I've begun the re-write process of _**Beneath the Façade**_. The new Chapter One is up.


	3. Chapter 3

Poe laid in bed with Finn draped over him, dead to the world. He couldn't help running his fingers over the other man's back, but he kept it light enough not to disturb the ex-stormtrooper. Finn had forgiven him after he'd confessed to everything. Even then, it had taken a few more days before his lover would let him touch him again. Poe still wasn't sure what had gotten into him. It was like his mind had just not allowed him to get close to Finn but the threat of the other man leaving . . . It was as if some kind of spell had been broken and Poe had been able to shake off his misgivings and go crawling back to Finn, begging for forgiveness.

Finn had eventually let him go beyond a bit of kissing and hand-holding and now they were finally back to some semblance of what they'd been before. But the idea that he'd almost lost his co-pilot, his most precious person . . . It ate at him every night. It was sheer chance that Poe had asked to switch shifts with Snap so he could have the following day off. If he hadn't Finn would have walked right off the base and never returned. He might not have ever seen the other man again.

Thoughts like those kept Poe awake at night. Those, as well, as some others. Poe hadn't allowed himself to dwell too much on the general at first . . . About her talking to herself. It shouldn't have affected him like it had. _But it did_. Because in the months since Finn had told him, he'd heard it too. Like she was having a conversation with herself.

 _Beep Beep Rooooo!_

The pilot jerked at the sound of BB-8's alarm. Finn jumped a bit as well and his arms tightened around Poe. The pilot couldn't help brushing a soft kiss over the brow of his lover as the man looked up at him.

 _Beeeeeep! Beeeeep!_

Finn smiled and Poe couldn't help cracking one of his own as he called out, "Alright, Buddy! Alright! We're getting up." He heard the a faint exasperated whine as the droid turned and rolled out of the room. Poe sighed and still made no move to leave the bed.

Finn's lids were at half-mast but he seemed to sense something. "I know that look. What's wrong?"

Poe shook his head. "Nah. Nothing. Just thinking about things."

Finn gave him a look that said he knew Poe wasn't being entirely truthful but he didn't push. Poe knew he didn't deserve it, but he was grateful all the same. He sat up and put his legs over the side of the double bed. It had been two months since Finn had almost left him and the ex-trooper had kept his distance for almost a month, but Poe had eventually, after much grovelling, gotten them back to where they were before. Finn was now living with him in his little ship. It was tight but they both knew the deal when Poe had offered and Finn accepted.

He was facing away from Poe when he spoke. "We need to tell Rey. This has been going on too long."

Poe bit his lip. "We could compromise the general's plan." And they both knew she'd been planning something big recently.

Finn's voice was irritated. "Poe, _Rey_ is compromised. They attacked a knight in broad daylight and killed him." Poe had heard about the dead knight, of course. Who hadn't? It was all over the 'net.

"That knight was trying to take a kid. We'd have done the same," Poe countered with a nod of his head.

Finn finally turned and looked at him. "But Rey wouldn't have actually tried to kill him. That's not her."

"People change when it comes to war." Everyone changed. It was a fundamental fact of an existence in this or any other galaxy.

The ex-trooper scoffed. "Kylo Ren is a dangerous lunatic. Why are we letting him poison her like that?"

Poe reached out and let his hand rest on Finn's "Look, I'll talk to the general. But you need to keep this all to yourself. If anyone suspects treason from you—"

"Yeah, I know. I'm the enemy and everyone puts up with me because you and I are together." Finn sounded so resigned. Poe had never felt more ashamed of his men and his friends. They'd shunned Finn when it had looked like they'd broken up. As if it was the other man's fault, when none of it was. It made him concerned about what might happen to the ex-trooper should anything ever happen to Poe. Would they drop him as they'd done before? The situation that he'd discovered still made him grit his teeth thinking about it.

Poe sighed. "That is not the only reason and you know it."

Finn pulled his hand away and made to get up. "Whatever, Poe. Plenty of people on this base are looking for payback from the First Order and are hoping I'm gonna screw up so they can take it out on me."

Poe's brows furrowed. His arm shot out like a snake and his fingers wrapped around Finn's wrist in a vice-grip. "Has anyone said anything to you? Done anything?" He asked as he pulled the other man back.

Finn shook his head but he wouldn't meet Poe's eyes. "No. But I hear the gossip, I do work in the communications bay. And Lieutenant Connix isn't exactly the most tight lipped individual. I've heard a number of times how adorable she thinks we are."

Finn was clearly trying to steer the conversation in another direction. Poe's first instinct was to coerce the names of anyone who had spoken badly of Finn out of his lover, but it clearly made the other man very uncomfortable so he allowed the conversation to drop.

Poe pasted a smile on his face and shrugged as he let go of Finn. "She's not saying anything but the truth."

Finn got up and began to walk out of the room but he paused in the doorway. "Please talk to the general. Because sooner or later, Rey is gonna do something that she will regret for the rest of her life and we'll have to live with the knowledge that we could have stopped her."

Poe swallowed but nodded. "I got you, bud."

Finn nodded and walked out. Poe's thoughts were quite serious but he couldn't help leaning over slightly to watch Finn's naked rear as he made his way down to hall to the 'fresher. He licked his lips and tried not to think about the fact that they'd had to reinforce the bed frame twice already.

Finn must have felt his eyes because as he walked into the bathroom, he called out, "You need to work on that one-track mind of yours."

Poe chuckled but responded. "How can I do that when you walk around naked all the time? And more importantly, _why_ would I do that?"

He didn't have to see Finn's face to know the other man was rolling his eyes. Poe made a mental note to change out the waste compartment that day. Apparently 'troopers were only allowed one thirty-second 'fresher wash every other day. When Finn had discovered that there was no limit to how many times he could use it here, he'd apparently decided to make up for lost time and he took two every day.

Not that Poe was complaining, it made their extracurricular activities easier on him when Finn was just so _clean_ . . . _all_ the time. He bit his lip and looked at the time. Maybe he could convince Finn . . .

No, he really didn't have enough time. _Dammit._

The pilot got up and pulled on his undergarments and jumpsuit. He was just finishing with the last zipper when Finn came back in. He was completely in the buff, of course.

He looked Poe up and down. "How much time to do have until you need to go teach that group?"

Poe's brows rose and he stammered out. "Uh fifteen minutes? Twenty if I run there?"

Finn leered at him a bit before pushing him down onto the bed and kneeling down in front of the pilot. Poe swallowed, audibly.

* * *

If Poe acted like the cat that got the cream for the rest of the day, no one commented on it. It was rather wise, really. Finn didn't surprise him like that often but when he did . . . Poe smiled thinking back.

"Commander Dameron."

Poe was shaken out of his thoughts when the general came up to him. He blinked a bit and hoped she hadn't been listening to his thoughts. She didn't seem affected in any way so he banished his memories of that morning and smiled at his commanding officer.

"General. Sir."

Her tone was brisk but not unkind. "I'd like to speak to you for a moment in private."

Poe nodded and followed the woman back to her office, the door shutting softly behind them. She came around her desk and sat down before gesturing for him to do the same.

She tilted her head and smiled. "Poe, I feel like we haven't spoken in a while."

The pilot did his best to smile back and shrugged a bit. "Sorry, I've been a bit busy in my off hours."

She had a knowing look on her face as she said, "Busy with a certain someone, I think. Am I allowed to reissue Finn's room in the barracks to someone else?"

Poe blinked. "Oh! Well, I can't make that decision for him."

She waved him off. "Of course not. I just wanted to check in with you and make sure everything is alright between you two. It seemed a little rocky there for a while."

Poe tried not to think about the icy daggers that still tore jagged holes into his chest every time he was reminded that Finn had almost left. He didn't meet her eyes. "We . . . We worked everything out."

The general didn't show any reaction to Poe's inner turmoil. "That's good. Very good. I just wanted to let you know that I've spoken to Rey and she knows about Kylo Ren."

The pilot looked up quickly and blinked in surprise. "She does?"

General Organa nodded. "Yes. She's finally strong enough with the force to keep her thoughts private so I was able to tell her and not risk Kylo Ren finding out. She is aware of the operation regarding Kylo Ren. So you can reassure your partner that everything is fine with her. I imagine he's been worried."

Poe kept eye contact to a minimum and did his best to maintain a calm and trusting facade. "Yes. Yes he has. She's very important to him."

Leia inclined her head in a short nod. "Well, she's fine and we're working closely with her to gather intelligence on the First Order and the Knights."

"Oh. That—That's good to hear. I'll be sure to let him know." Poe said as calmly as possible. If what he suspected was true, he needed to get out of this office and off this planet.

She smiled and they both got up. "Don't be a stranger, Poe. You're like a son to me, you know."

He nodded and allowed her to pull him into a hug before leaving. The pilot swallowed as he walked down the hall back towards the ship. Finn would be in the communications bay working for another couple of hours so Poe could only stew in his thoughts and feelings by himself.

He eyed his ship for a few seconds before turning back around and making his way to the control room. His eyes alighted on Snap who was going over rotation shifts with Connix so Poe stepped up to him quickly.

Connix eyed him and was about to leave but Poe stopped her with a hand on her arm. She looked confused but didn't shake him off.

Snap was looking down at his pad. "What can I do for you commander?"

"I have a favor to ask of both of you." At this Snap did look up, curious, so Poe continued. "I was looking over the schedule and I don't have a shift tomorrow. And . . . Connix I was hoping you could cover Finn's shift so I can take him to Yavin Four to meet my dad."

Connix almost swooned. "Of course, commander, I'd be happy to switch shifts with Finn. We'll just switch days."

Poe smiled. "Thank you so much." He turned back to Snap. "How about it? We'd be gone for just a day."

Snap looked entirely unimpressed but nodded tiredly. "Yeah, Yeah. I'll put you on leave for the day. Take your boyfriend home."

Poe smiled and clapped them both on the back. "I owe you both."

Snap shrugged him off. "Yeah you do."

The pilot laughed and Connix rolled her eyes.

* * *

For updates on this series as well as my other works, please follow me on tumblr at sophiascribbling.


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